not bad eh fellas?   dis is brittany a sheila i met at the bakery yestaday when i was buying a cheddarmite scroll, mm i culd go one of theses right now actuly

unfortunatly she passed out on me at 5am when me n robbo was playin milk crate socca out in da backyard. i gotta admit tho, i wasnt gona pass up on a game of milk crate socca.  hell noone beats me at that game mate, tha boys asked me to captain there team but i said no cause i have all my comunity work to do, thats tha person i am, comunity first lesures come second.   also if i dont help tha comunity then the police crack the shits cos they say i gotta help the comunity afta i shot tiny teds dog with me air rifle, they say if i dont then there gona send me strait to jail tha bastards.  they did dis last time to when i streaked at tha golf game all those rich folks were at eh

no sense of humor tha bastards

tiny teds runnin his own bisness n shit, wat a leg

i walkd out to pay wid nevs muney and for f**ks sake, the fleabag from next door had taken a dump on me doorstep!  me n dis bastard have been at war for years and he wasnt gettin’ away wit dis mate.  using tha brains people are always sayin’ i have, i went n grabbed me air rifle n shot him in da balls mate, he was askin’ for it eh.

suck on that ya bastard

anyway ted was laffin’ and shit eh, so i shot him too and stole his beer.  his mum cracked the shits wen she found out so i promised id hook ‘er up with nevs.

teds mum is a slag, nevs can 'ave her mate

she needs a bit of a shave i reckon

what the fuck? So yer we bashed em, dont come to teh valley dressed like a wizarrd and doin that shit eh, dey were drinkin rasbries to tha poofs

afta bashin’ em we hit on der girls but dey were fkn off deir chops to eh?

dis guy was prety sweet, he gave us 2 smokes to leve him alone n he said he had a girlfrend, good werk bro

in da end it was all good cas i stole there dunny paper so we dont have to use newspaper anymore and nevs stole a chipmunks casette tape the lucky prick, we left robbo there cos he was stil pissed i threw up in his ashtray, wat a pusy.

i took dis on me new camra fone afta we’s got on da bus , tha chicks luv it mate

dis is were she lives eh

alls good tho, centrelink chops me out dis week so i went to phils to get a loan. phils always got money eh cause he has hardly no furniture and lives not havin’ to pay rent cause centrelink sez he has a disabilty, lucky bastard.

i got phils lead and sed i’d take him to the shops eh, it was the least i could do since i borowed his money widout tellin him, he was really apreshative eh, i spend lots of time helping peaple in wombat valley which is why i dont have time to get a job, i’m a comunity figa mate

dis is me ex, now shes goin out with robbo, shes a real stunna n all da boys in town always chek her out, she shuld be a model i rekon shes real smart too, runs a busness from home seling some shit called goojee beries which makes ya betta lookin, obviously shes gettin high on her own suply

so anyways decided to go to the quarry with me mates and test the new shokers on Robbos new vl wagon, wat a rich bastard eh, pricks got a job fixing fences the smart bastard. dunno about the peaple laffing eh it’s like they never seen a vl jump befor ea bit weerd those peaple from the city eh

anyway dis is a pictcha of me, eat yer hart out ladeez.