Filed under: wombat valley | Tags: streaker hangover blonde backyard cheddarmite scroll
bloody hell, look what i woke to today mate
not bad eh fellas? dis is brittany a sheila i met at the bakery yestaday when i was buying a cheddarmite scroll, mm i culd go one of theses right now actuly
unfortunatly she passed out on me at 5am when me n robbo was playin milk crate socca out in da backyard. i gotta admit tho, i wasnt gona pass up on a game of milk crate socca. hell noone beats me at that game mate, tha boys asked me to captain there team but i said no cause i have all my comunity work to do, thats tha person i am, comunity first lesures come second. also if i dont help tha comunity then the police crack the shits cos they say i gotta help the comunity afta i shot tiny teds dog with me air rifle, they say if i dont then there gona send me strait to jail tha bastards. they did dis last time to when i streaked at tha golf game all those rich folks were at eh
no sense of humor tha bastards
Filed under: wombat valley | Tags: nevs fat slag tiny teds mum beer delivery service
well today i woke up wid a hangova ‘n shit eh so everyone noes da best way to get rid of a hangova is wid more beer rite? fortunitly on me street i have a delivry servise, its pretty darn expensiv but thats cool cas nevs still sleepin.
tiny teds runnin his own bisness n shit, wat a leg
i walkd out to pay wid nevs muney and for f**ks sake, the fleabag from next door had taken a dump on me doorstep! me n dis bastard have been at war for years and he wasnt gettin’ away wit dis mate. using tha brains people are always sayin’ i have, i went n grabbed me air rifle n shot him in da balls mate, he was askin’ for it eh.
suck on that ya bastard
anyway ted was laffin’ and shit eh, so i shot him too and stole his beer. his mum cracked the shits wen she found out so i promised id hook ‘er up with nevs.
teds mum is a slag, nevs can 'ave her mate
she needs a bit of a shave i reckon
Filed under: wombat valley | Tags: wizards fags emos emo kissing city folk
holy shit so me n’ nev an’ robbo gatecrashed dis party last nite eh and der was sum city foke der as ther just is sumtimes and dey alredy seemed pecular but den… we seen some fags!!!
what the fuck? So yer we bashed em, dont come to teh valley dressed like a wizarrd and doin that shit eh, dey were drinkin rasbries to tha poofs
afta bashin’ em we hit on der girls but dey were fkn off deir chops to eh?
dis guy was prety sweet, he gave us 2 smokes to leve him alone n he said he had a girlfrend, good werk bro
in da end it was all good cas i stole there dunny paper so we dont have to use newspaper anymore and nevs stole a chipmunks casette tape the lucky prick, we left robbo there cos he was stil pissed i threw up in his ashtray, wat a pusy.
so yer, afta eatin a couple of pies i slept at the bus stop fer a bit n woke up caz hobo jack wanted a ciggie, i sed fek off ya bastard but he jus kept mumblin some shit so i gave him a smoke and den he stole teh seat i was sleepin’ on the c**t.
i took dis on me new camra fone afta we’s got on da bus , tha chicks luv it mate
afta droppin phil off at the adult kinder i went to mrs craigs place cause it’s on the way home and she makes teh best pies in all of wombat valley. there so good that even the servo is sellin’ em. im not sure i trust her though she’s always sayin strange shit and nobody noes wat hapened to er’ usband eh?
dis is were she lives eh
Filed under: wombat valley | Tags: no ciggies centrelink fat phil nappy disability
heck i woke dis mornin’ and relized that there was no ciggies in the house, then i remembed ther was none last night eitha and cause ther was none last night i smoked all the baccy from the old ones in teh ashtray
alls good tho, centrelink chops me out dis week so i went to phils to get a loan. phils always got money eh cause he has hardly no furniture and lives not havin’ to pay rent cause centrelink sez he has a disabilty, lucky bastard.
i got phils lead and sed i’d take him to the shops eh, it was the least i could do since i borowed his money widout tellin him, he was really apreshative eh, i spend lots of time helping peaple in wombat valley which is why i dont have time to get a job, i’m a comunity figa mate
Filed under: wombat valley | Tags: robbos mrs hot as goojee berries stunner
dis is me ex, now shes goin out with robbo, shes a real stunna n all da boys in town always chek her out, she shuld be a model i rekon shes real smart too, runs a busness from home seling some shit called goojee beries which makes ya betta lookin, obviously shes gettin high on her own suply
so anyways decided to go to the quarry with me mates and test the new shokers on Robbos new vl wagon, wat a rich bastard eh, pricks got a job fixing fences the smart bastard. dunno about the peaple laffing eh it’s like they never seen a vl jump befor ea bit weerd those peaple from the city eh
me mate just introdused me to dis fancy ass interweb when we was looking up holdens and said that i shuld rite about me life as im the most popular here in wombat valley. he rekons I could be a become famus, even more famus than harold off neighbours he reckons not that i think that could be posible harold is a bloody legend.
anyway dis is a pictcha of me, eat yer hart out ladeez.
